Le Journale

 I know I wrote this in July, but so many things happened in June, so yeah... COVID-19 is still here. It is older than my son, Bhaga who just turned 1 this June. I am so happy about how he has grown. How he is able to show his needs, wants, or dislikes. They are all crystal clear for me, as his mother. Isn't it funny how God leads the path made only for you? No matter how hard you try to walk oppositely, God will always lead you to the right one, chosen for you.  It's been 13 months old being a mother, I feel like I need to stock up a lot of patience. A toddler can be tricky to live with. Not to mention the fact that toddlers now try to do everything independently, all we can do as mothers are constantly paying attention and taking extra care, nonstop. Luckily I made the right decision to leave my full-time job this April, cause leaving my son at his grandma's house is worrisome. My mother is getting older, she isn't as fit as she used to so it is always hard to chase B...

Thank God we've made it this far!  It almost feels like living on crack shells every single day, don't you think? Of course you don't want it to break anytime soon. And I've been carrying a new role apart of a mother; that is a freelancer.  And I kinda enjoy it cause I have more time to spend and raise my son :) My son is like a shield for me. I know it is not right to put so much label on him yet, but it's true. Without him I might have been collapsed many times because of this COVID-stress. So I thak Lord for his tremendous joy and blessings.

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born..." Let's go back to 2018 where I once vowed to not wanting to get married let alone bear any child inside my womb. Yeah, maybe that sounded mean but honestly, looking back all I wanted was wealth for my career and inner peace. I managed to get all of that, but surprisingly feeling empty still. What did I do wrong? I had money, good career, and stable workplace environment. I thought money can buy everything... Turned out I was wrong. And I needed someone to care and love me.  Like wise men say, "love is nowhere when you look for it, vice versa," so during 2018, I wasn't even looking. I randomly on ****r only to find some guys to talk to. I know that sounds cliche but you've got to trust me :D All I need was conversation with the same frequency of topics and guys. Luckily, I found a guy who isn't my type at all but he turns out a good guy, unlike most of guys on ****r. Once I get to know his ...

What a beginning of a year 2020 has been, don't you think? Many, including me are afraid that 2020 is off to a bad year. It is all started with the bushfire in Canberra last February. The death of Kobe Bryant, although with his flaws as a human being, he still leaves such hole in a lot of people also started this year in wrong direction. I remember growing up watching his posters and stickers decorating my older brother's room. It affected me too somehow, cause he was that good and passionate.  Moving on to the next month, well actually the virus, yes we better say it louder --Corona Virus, has been surrounding Wuhan area since October 2019. We have also found the patient 0 was actually American. With the spread infecting all over the world, including Indonesia, it is hard to actually see what is left for us in 2020, if there is any.  But for me, the end of 2019 up to this day, I can only count my blessings. Even in the darkest times, light strives to keep its pre...

Kita tahu banget kalau ada hal yang nggak bisa kita dapetin.  We cannot have it all. So choose wisely. When it comes to career and the wealth of peace of mind, which one do you choose? Sebagai wanita, gue merasa pilihan yang tersedia untuk kita itu terbatas jika dibandingkan dengan pria. Seperti takdir hidup kita tuh udah punya list-nya sendiri, dan kita hanya tinggal ngikutin sambil contreng list tersebut satu-persatu. Pertama, memasuki kehidupan young adult, tanggung jawab kita memang belum banyak, tapi di usia 20-25 tahun ini pasti pilihan 'menikah' sudah menjadi list pertama yang harus dipenuhi. Mencoba untuk ignore list tersebut, ketika di sekeliling kita banyak wanita sedang berlari demi menuju garis final a.k.a pernikahan? Mana bisa? Kedua, mungkin list pertama di rentang usia tersebut masih bisa kita ignore, ya, kita ga bisa benar-benar ignore gitu aja karena list tersebut masih ngikutin ke manapun kita para wanita berada di dunia, despite karir dan...

I should have reviewed Game of Thrones first, but its ending disappoints me BIG TIME. It is only fair if we start a new page with a brand new TV show, like The Terror or Chernobyl, don't you think? Those two have successfully stolen my heart up to this day. The scenes are clear and bright like a summer day.  In a nutshell, this show is an adaptation of its book, with the same title; The Terror by Dan Simmons.  It is beautifully bleak and full of horror... I reviewed it through Instagram Stories, so hopefully, these images filled with honest review and a little bit of spoiler will do justice to the show.  Check this one out!

"Are we there yet?" Mungkin hal itu yang sering kulantunkan dalam kantuk selama perjalanan road trip lintas Jawa bersama keluarga. "Are we..." Belum bulat namun tubuh sudah menggeliat tukar posisi tidur yang nyenyak; menempel jendela kaca mobil Fortuner 2.7 G Luxury warna hitam. Ya, memang seperti itulah kerjaanku di dalam mobil. Mungkin tidur memang obat dari ketakutan berada dalam ruang sempit. Membayangkan ubun-ubun yang menempel dekat dengan atap mobil saja sudah berhasil membuat bulu kudukku merinding. Thanks to claustrophobia. Fast forward ke hari ini, mungkin pertanyaan tersebut bisa digunakan untuk hal lain. Seiring dengan kesibukan mencari 'angka' di ibu kota, kegiatan road trip seringnya hanya berujung di WhatsApp grup keluarga saja. Seperti Hari Raya tahun ini yang seharusnya bisa membakar rindu belasan tahunku pada kampung halaman, bau tanah kota Solo, atau panasnya kebun binatang Jurug, semua rencana yang tersusun rapih untuk mengunjung...

🇹🇭 🇹🇭 🇹🇭 Had a great trip last May where I spent 7 days straight at Bangkok, Thailand! Here are some pictures I took. The stories are saved when I have time to write more. Meanwhile, enjoy the pictures! There are too many pictures...

I want to touch people with my art.  I want them to say:  He feels deeply, he feels tenderly. So it was a quiet and nice Friday on the second of March, 2018. I was enjoying the leisure time as the aftermath of crazy deadlines in the last few weeks. You can blame it on the agency life I've been living for almost 2 years. Got so many deadlines to do so I skipped some cool movies to watch, like Dunkirk (lol). But I can guarantee you, I still got time to watch my all-time favourite Netflix series (like Stranger Things or Terrace House). No worries!  So a friend of mine asked me to watch Loving Vincent, abruptly, unplanned that night. The release date in Indonesia is on February 28th. So we're kinda late a few days. But you know, there is no exact information about this movie on Indonesia media! People seemed to focus on something else. Seriously, watching Loving Vincent is far more important than anything else that you're doing right now! Go watch it bef...

So... Finally, I could spare some time to review this book (though I've done it on my Goodreads account ). It's been a while since I got the copy. But I feel the need to do the review as soon as I can. So, here it is... Beware of spoilers. Have warned you, okay... Let's talk about the package, shall we?  I like the cover. It looks promising, don't you think? The font and simple illustration remind me of Hen Kim's artworks. But apparently, the cover was illustrated by ohgigue. I'm sure about it since the illustration is far from Lang Leav's usual works. Maybe she was too busy to do the illustration like previous books before this one.  As for the size, it's actually bigger than regular books. I don't know exactly about the dimension whatsoever. You can see the comparison from the picture I took side by side with my hair perfume. At the back cover, there is this quote; A girl who cried wolf. A boy in sheep's clothing. A killer romance. A...

It's true crime. It incorporates a half-century-old unsolved murder case. It is the story of a nun, trying to blow up the biggest secret revolving around the church, but gets killed. It is too devastating to indulge, although it is only documentary series; there is no actual crime conducted whatsoever in each of the episodes. So, if you haven't watched the series yet, better stay away. There will be a lot of spoilers. Are you ready? In a nutshell, The Keepers is a seven-part Netflix documentary series climbing up the must-watch competition of crime genre. It has all of the requirements: 1. Someone murdered? Checked! 2. The missing suspect? Checked! 3. Government's involvement? Checked! 4. Police's involvement? Definitely! What makes this docuseries worth watching is the church's involvement. Yes, you heard it right. At the beginning of the series, I knew well that there would be a cover-up from the church of any adulteries conducted by the pries...

Haruki Murakami is a great writer. He writes to find an answer. I don't know what is the answer that he's been looking for, but for each one of his journeys, one thing that he always offers to his readers: solitude. It grows stronger in every book of his that I manage to read. All of the main characters are isolated or accidentally plan to isolate from the society.  Toru Okada is pretty much living the life of a lonesome wanderer. He enjoys living alone, even after the sudden leave of his wife and cat. He is pleased enough to jump into the well and sit in it for countless hours. As much as he feels sad about the abruptness that happened to his life, deep inside the well, he is happy enough to spend more hours in the well of an abandoned house in his neighbourhood.  Just like most of his books, Murakami is positioning himself in each one of his characters, who is aimless. No purpose to go. No destination to reach. Toru's life is basically like a flowing river. He ju...

SPOILER ALERT! If You Haven't Read/Watched 13 Reasons Why, THEN STOP HERE! As you know from the title, I need to warn you one more time. If you don't have any clue about this viral thing going on on Netflix, called 13 Reasons Why grabbed from the same title of a young adult fiction book written by Jay Asher, MOVE ALONG. Continue living that perfect life of yours...

When we think clearly and rationally about everything, without being biased, uninformed, or prejudiced, then it is critical thinking. We all know that the mind itself is never quiet even distorted, sometimes . Once it is clear, it can engage in a more reflective and independent thinking. It can also reason to the highest level of quality.

For me, empathy is as simple as these 4 words: ‘I feel for you’. Call a person an old soul or an empath, but  we actually have our own struggles. From difficult circumstances at office to miseries happened all at once, until it feels like the world has pushed us down to the position where we kneel and pray for the better times to come, the very first thing that we can do is to be fully aware and conscious of the impact of the struggles on the other person. So, is it easy to be an empath? Not really, since it is also hard to relate to a condition or situation we haven’t faced or are not in. But trust me, it is still possible.

Proud to be one of the coolest REDs on Earth! Okay, that is too exaggerating...  We went to Lombok last October, and I just had the time to share some of the FUN during our trip! Yes, my boss is that cool, to bring all of the squad to Lombok! He is the BEST! Next year is Bangkok or Europe, perhaps? *fingers-crossed* It was a nice trip. A good way to blend with new creative people! Just couldn't resists the vibe!

Living in digital world these days would be more meaningful if you can create such movement From creating apps to make one's life better like KitaBisa.com (go check the link to find that a LOT of people are indeed in need of some help). So I would like to shout out to some people out there who refuse the waves of digital world. Seriously, you can start doing something that would matter the world to other people. Why is that so hard to understand? Don't focus on the negativity it would bring. There is always 2 sides of EVERYTHING. What matter the most is how you react to it. So, enough the preamble. Last night was quite fun and different from any other new year's eves. I have been recruited to Creative Division of Bebas Sampah Movement . I volunteer myself as a graphic designer. It's been ages! Whoa!  And last night, the Media and Public Figure divisions also volunteered to clean the New Year's Eve venue. We brought a giant plastic bag and threw any in...

"Aku nggak pernah tau kapan kita bisa barengan lagi kaya dulu...," ungkapnya saat itu. Saat kita berdua sudah terlalu jauh terpisah oleh palung terdalam yang tidak mungkin bisa diselami. "Tapi aku akan selalu ingat saat-saat kita barengan, Ndri..." sambungnya lagi, di saat gue masih sulit menerima gambaran diri ini terbangun tanpa pesan teks dari dia lagi, tanpa gesturenya yang khas, tanpa baunya yang sudah terlalu familiar di hidung gue, dan tanpa bewoknya yang sekarang tercukur rapih tanpa sisa. Seakan ada hal baru di dalam dirinya, yang pastinya nggak ada hubungannya sama sekali dengan gue. 'Semudah itu memutuskan cukur jenggot sampai kumis ketika dulu gue sempat susah payah nyuruh lo ngelakuin hal yang sama untuk interview penting lo? Sehebat apa sih dia?' hati kecil ini susah untuk nggak monolog, terutama di saat gue membutuhkan support moral. Bukannya menanggapi pengakuannya, gue memutuskan untuk seruput iced coffee yang sudah encer, berca...

Why are they shaking, especially my hands? Is it tremor or just panic attacking me? Or is it both? So, I surfed the internet and googled up Tremor. What I found is this definition from WebMD: Tremor is an involuntary shaking movement that is repeated over and over. Although it may affect any part of the body, tremor most often affects the hands and head. Your voice may also shake. Sometimes the feet or torso may also shake. DANG! 

Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old. --unknown *Inhale. Exhale.* It's been a tough week... I always see my parents as invincible adults. My dad has always been a big, strong man who works hard despite of his wrinkles around his face. He protects us and just takes care of things. We often forget his appearance just because our Mom's figure is more visible, right? He then chooses to stay behind the screen and wait for us to ask him some helps, financial ones, mostly.