Le Journale

You can't see me the way you used to anymore... Vice versa. Our skin cells regenerate every an hour. I have forgotten 30,000 to 40,000 skin cells of yours every an hour. That is why I never see you in the same perspective anymore. You are changing... I should appreciate it. By forgetting you, or the thousands part of your dead skin cells, I am moving on, your mistakes, sins, wickedness, all of those negative sides of you have become those 30,000-40,000 dead parts of your body and I'm moving on and embrace the new you - for my space comrade

After reading the Great Gatsby book and watching the movie again, I can say that it is indeed possessed my mind greatly that it takes up a whole lot of my pinkish thing to think about Tom and Daisy, as the antagonist characters in the movie. How could they become so careless? And Daisy? What is she looking for from Tom Buchanan actually, after his affair with the poor-cheap-bitchy-kind of a woman, Myrtle? How could she become so cheap and greed for craving the loves from Gatsby and Tom too! People blame Gatsby, who is actually the protagonist one in here. Can you see the relevance with today's world condition, my dear friends?  James Gatz, or this Jay Gatsby, in the end gets blamed for the affair, the hit and run and the death caused by Myrtle's husband who actually should pull the triger to Tom's fucking head! Gaaaaaah! I hate the ending, but lucky, there is this Nick Carraway, as the cousin of Daisy who retold everything about the truth. But yeah, once again, the tru...

Eine Flucht. An escape. What kind of thought came the very first time in your mind when you let the world push you real hard?  I need to escape. I need a shelter. I don't need anybody to be there too. It is not a good thing to let the world do its power towards your existence. It is also cruel to narrow it down and let society do harm to you. What you need to have is an escape so you can release the burden, to show the world you are invisible.  Meine Flucht is to do something self-healing, like writing, listening to some post-rock or ambient music, and drawing. Maybe this is why some of my doodling works are showing some violence. That is the medicine, actually. You can transfer the negativity through a blank paper and eventually heal yourself. What I did when I interact with rigidity is drawing this lovely deer; I find myself drawing anything other than human is relieving. These guys have helped me to get through the day. You cannot describe how...

What I always think about appearance is when you don't take it into account to judge someone. I have some people I barely knew that they are so grand and glowing on the surface. But within, inside of them, their personalities, I would say my 'unsightly' friend is much better than them to befriend with.  And when it comes to love, what we actually look for is understanding. For all mischievousness, pricks, deviltry, naughtiness a person possessed, another one only need to welcome it. Yet, appearance is no longer important. What makes a person feel glowing is when she thinks the world fully accept her the way she is, including her loved ones. That is exactly what makes her looking great. Not to mention getting laid to rejuvenate our skins, but yeah, happiness for being accepted is what makes you pretty. It is inessential to bring up the study reports to support that argument. All we need to do is feeling happy with what we have. Be grateful for the beauty we possesse...

Oh, mann, for what you did disheartening my grip, le faith,  of you would accept as I am

Quite absurd weather we have here. Yet everyone keeps doing what they should be doing at the moment. I just passed a test which reported I have verbal-linguistic intelligence. It's quite usual for me, as I have passed 3 tests which result in the same thing. I have ability to come up with some words to calm, to ease someone else's pain. My linguistic censor can be seen easily from the way I speak and arrange them in sentences. While I don't think I am not like having that kind of intelligence, my job is always concerned in writing. It is all started from one of hobbies, which is the easiest to do,  it's writing journals. I bet most of teenage girls at that time used to have a journal with padlock and love key to open it, don't you think? I recall every time I had to run here and there to catch my siblings who loved playing with my journal and read it like aloud. Started from journal and continued to short stories. I think short stories from Kawanku or Gadis magazine...