Living in Anyone's Quarter-Life Crisis (when you turn 25)

Panicking doesn't help, if you are right now hitting 25 or older. Well okay, you might feel it is such a BIG thing, that you are now facing your quarter life. That big round number or this first quarter life can echo in anyone's heads with that age. You would find yourself afraid that it is kind of ending, but also a beginning. The question then revolves in what kind of beginning? Is it really the end? Where do I have to go after this phase? 

When you turn 25, it can cause some serious doubts and questions, like I said earlier. Honestly, it led me to some kind of quarter-life crisis too. Beforehand I always thought well, I'm getting old, I'm growing up, so now what? Seeing my friends kind of making so many checklists before they even hit 25 years old, the fear had embarked like somehow it had been there, deep inside of me. The fears came to surface when I have some friends holding their wedding receptions where I was invited. Seriously though, it was a lot of invitations I just couldn't have the urge to attend it. Marriage, having kids, continuing my study then became something that made me think. Actually and honestly (adverb-abuse, I know), I am never ready to step into that new level in life. Well, probably not yet.

I don't know how long, though, that I would have that kind of feelings. But I always have this kind of glimpse-thinking that I'm a late bloomer. Not only for talents, but also for experiences. 

I started it late. You know, life.

Then I surfed the internet and Googled it down, the quarter-life crisis. The definition from Dictionary.com turned out to be: a crisis that may be experienced in one's twenties, involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one's life. 

The fears are about physical concerns (healthy mind and soul), occupational matters like, job loss, then social anxiety like not having any man to date nor having the intention to start it with anyone, really because your old flame is still on fire (gosh, who said moving on is easy?).

It was worsened by the fact that society, especially in Indonesia is too demanding. People here like setting some stages that a person in certain ages should step in, or accomplish their lists. And when you turn 25, some of the lists they want you to accomplish are;
-Getting hitched
-Having kids
-Getting paid in 2 digits of number
-Getting loans for your own resident/home or flat will do
-Having at least a car
-Planning on continuing your study (while getting married or having your first son will do)
-Showing some maturity
-Stop using emoji
-Stop showing feelings too bluntly
-Stop making a bunch of mistakes
-Stop experimenting with your job or men (mostly)
-Having a certain, kind of permanent goal (which is related to marriage stuff)
-Contemplating that you are old already, so stop goofing around like some immature kids!

UGH. I JUST CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE.

Some people even set the bar too high for anyone else to reach, you know some people who are lucky enough, but I don't want to put them in categories.



Fortunately those are lists set by some kind of unimportant idiots. AS for my parents, they instead give me these 6 things to keep in mind when I turn 25:

1. No Need to Rush
My dad is the wisest man on Earth. I believe every wise words of him. A lucky daughter who is trusted that I would do better, that life is getting better from time to time when you endure it patiently, without complaining God's will. He said that the fear would be there, for sure. You would find this kind of thinking, "what I've been doing with my life all these years?". Whether you go to college or have just started a new, exciting job, your early twenties are destined to be the time when you figure it all out. So you don't have to rush and stop feeling like you are thousand years late for EVERYTHING. 

2. Make a Bunch of Mistakes While You Can and Learn From Them
My mom is actually the best exemplary of that one person who obeys the rules created by society. Got her education done, got married in perfect time, related to fertility and stuff as well as of course, got kids afterwards, like 7 kids. But you know what, she thinks that it is a mistake to not pursue your dreams. Each person carries different kind of dreams. So did she. She didn't know that she could be a model back in time when she was young. She doesn't regret it, tho. She has loved kids from the beginning and it was also one of her dreams, to get married and have kids. But she started it too early. She always thinks she could delay it  for a few years, like 3 or 4 years. While delaying, she could do many things she want. It happens the same to my older sister too. She's been saying it, "You should enjoy your life, do many things you want, experiment more and just simply be happy." Basically they told me that it is okay to delay your adulthood and learn more from your mistakes. Your turn for new things including your future will come eventually.

3. Reflect More
While you are having your late-bloomer-phase of life, isn't it the perfect time to reflect more? Go on a journey to find your true self. It's totally fine to take a gap year to clueless-ly explore the city. You are young and unattached, after all. Take time to reflect your mistakes and learn some new wise words or experiences. Get to know more people, discover the beauties of the flaws that they share to you. But still, don't lose yourself. 

4. The More Experiences, the Better
You're not having the ability to formulate some kind of magic elixirs like you find in The Sims. To figure out things, the flows should be: experiment more, make mistakes, then you figure out stuff. It has always been like that. You will never know until you really experience it. So, just do it.

5. It's Okay to Change Your Goals
You know I have been a writer. SEO writer, content writer, and now having a job position like Executive Editor is kinda easy. But sometimes my likeness towards writing is decreasing somehow. Yet I feel okay. I am pretty sure the talent is inside, so I only have to polish it. As long as I can write my heart out, it is okay. I realize new thing that your passion shouldn't have to be the only way for you to earn some pennies. You will be demanding to it and ruin its soul. Like you are getting disconnected with the ability. So it is best to immediately reevaluate your goals. To head into a new place, you need some goals that will lead you there, that right place designed only for you. Sit down and reevaluate about what you really want to do in life. Do not pursue goals that are not right for you.

6. Stop Comparing Yourself with Others
Comparison is the thief of joy. Stop comparing your life with others. It is like the top number on "how to be happy" list. You alone are enough. You owe nobody to prove your accomplishments. You know that life happens at different paces for some people. It is okay to have friends who get married first, or graduated their master degree. You can still create an awesome career for yourself. It is kind of exciting to figure out those best things that you would face later, right? Though it can be though, but try not to compare yourself. Feel happy for your friends who have great accomplishments  and then focus back to your own life.





It is probably scary to find yourself getting older, but really, age is just number. Stop calling yourself old. Quarter-life crisis should not get you down. Sit down, do good, and reflect more. You will get through it just fine in the end. You only have to believe.






Popular posts from this blog

My Star by Robert Browning

Image
My Star by Robert Browning  Poem Analysis Today, I'd like to present my poem analysis; My Star by Robert Browning . This poem analysis would be divided into three parts, namely: introduction which will tell a brief background life of the poet, then to the content where there will be summary and intrinsic elements of this poem, and then move to the conclusion as the finish line. But more importantly, you need to know why I choose this poem, which belongs to Men and Women (1885)  poems collections of Browning. It is because this dainty love lyric is just beautiful and simple, in words-chosen and easy to understand too. More importantly, this poem shows us how the beauty of a person is different depending on its beholder. Yet, we should respect the differences. 
Read more

The Era of Puritanism (1564-1660): Literary Works

Image
The reign of the Puritans also produce a large amount of literature (poetry, prose), but drama could not thrive because it is prohibited by the authorities. Drama regarded as a nest of immorality by the Puritan authorities. It is just so different with Elizabeth period where drama produces a lot of outstanding works. So we can see that the literary works of Puritan period are just different from Elizabeth period. In period of Puritan literature, there are three groups of poems; metaphysical, cavalier and Puritan. Here are the complete version of the era of Puritanism (1564-1660): Literary Works. Poetry We can find poems in this period are way too different from the previous one. We may even call the literary in this period as the depression kind of expression. If in Elizabethan period we know some greatest poets like Edmund Spenser, Philip Sidney, George Chapman and Thomas Sackville who each of them expressing their emotions through their works. The emotions here are like t...
Read more

Gender Stereotypes and Performativity in Frozen Movie

Image
Since it is holiday already, so I have more time to gather the data and publish this article, which is entitled Gender Stereotypes and Performativity in Frozen movie . I analyzed this movie in order to complete the assignment given in Children literature class. But it turned out interesting! I focused only one theory; performativity from Judith Butler. Check out the analysis from my paper! The writer analyzes Frozen movie by focusing only one theory; performativity from Judith Butler. In order to not broaden it into some theories that may be found in the plot, the writer thinks the misconstrued-performances of the main characters, Anna and Elsa are easily seen and become vast majority start from the beginning until the very end of the movie. But it doesn’t mean other theories are forgotten. Something that the writer immediately thought about when finishing the movie was that Frozen is perhaps the queerest animated film ever produced by Disney–queer as being a theoretical practic...
Read more