It Will All End in Tears

It's been weeks, or ages for the last time she threw herself into words on her journal. She was in state of keeping hatred, and knew it was not good (at all). So what did she do to evaporate this kind of toxic feeling? She avoided the source of it.

She skipped classes. She understood that she would reap something from this habit, like not getting anymore As for some lectures. But, she felt the hatred she had burned fiercely if she kept seeing them (even) from afar. It was like she didn't even want to share the same air with them. And she had responsible to keep this fragile heart stay red, otherwise it would be burned black.

One day, she shared her miserable college life to her ex bf. And he kept heating up her spirit to hurry that life and graduate soon. Lastly, he said that she was one of his favorite girl, for she had been through a lot of shit and still kept the best smile she could throw. Well, when we find out there is no one there to encourage us anymore, the shitty life we have been through is looking exactly like hell. REALLY LIKE HELL. World is mental, she thought, and now she even loathed it. As long as she still saw their faces, it felt like shit.

She was not a goodie girl when it comes to hating people from different blood. She recalled some junior high school friends and they were like betraying her only for being the richest kid in class. As soon as she knew about that, coming straight from their mouths, she realized sometimes she should just forget some existences. Shift+Del them and move on, like what she did. But she knew she was not as bad as she thought she would be after in some years those hateful friends came and asked for apology. Well, yeah they didn't even do that in the time she found out they betrayed her, so it had been some years, and why keeping the hatred? She accepted their apologies and moved on (again). She actually had moved on, and didn't get any chance to meet them until they came in front of her face again. It was hurt, to recall back the incident all over again, but she did believe that time would heal. It healed her broken heart, yet kept reminding herself not to get attached with them anymore. So that is what she did now. Remember that hatred is actually a kind of feelings too, why should she keeps it?

This is why she tried her best to lose and be a laid-back person by forgetting what people say about her. Only time and an escape that would help them to get rid of this hatred she had towards them.



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